MAnyone who believes that the hallmark of a healthy, committed romantic partnership is to have someone who understands what makes you particularly clickable and understands what they can do to meet your needs. In fact, though, people need emotionally close relationships with people Others Than their romantic partner for an emotionally fulfilling life. But, what are the signs of emotional betrayal that could indicate platonic intimacy? What is really not happening?
According to relationship experts, here comes the best guidance to understand the differences between deep, close friendships (or platonic intimacy) and deep, intimate situations (or unlabelled relationships that are more intense than platonic friendships).
At its most intimate, platonic intimacy is the emotional intimacy that exists between good friends. “People we have emotionally close friends with are people who see us as who we really are,” says Joe Kors, an intimacy expert and resident sex and intimacy coach at Coral, a sexual wellness app. “These are the people you can use as sound boards,” she says.
In general, you take care of their perspective, take them out, and process your emotions with their help – and vice versa. But (and that’s important!), When you can call these people your best friend, Platonic soul mate, or PIC, whatever they are Only Friends, and have no intention of taking your relationship to another emotional or sexual level.
“One of the main symptoms of emotional betrayal is the lack of honesty and transparency with your partner about what someone is talking about or revealing to their partner.” -Jo course, intimacy specialist
So, when does platonic intimacy turn into emotional deception? According to Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC, relationship specialist and licensed physician, fraud is any violation of the boundaries of your relationship, and Emotional Cheating involves developing a deeper emotional bond with someone than is easy for your partner (s).
It also usually involves a degree of secrecy. “One of the main symptoms of emotional betrayal is the lack of honesty and transparency with your partner when it comes to communicating with your partner or revealing things to your partner,” Kors adds.
The main differences between platonic intimacy and emotional betrayal
First, name the similarities: both emotional betrayal and platonic intimacy involve emotional intimacy. And to be clear, “emotional intimacy is a normal, healthy part of all types of relationships,” Kors says. Caraballo agrees, adding that “it’s an important component that makes people feel like they have a community and support system.”
The main difference between platonic intimacy and emotional betrayal, then, is the appropriateness and sometimes depth of emotional intimacy, the course says. “The way you threaten the stability of your primary relationship depends on whether or not you’re involved with someone,” she says. This threat can take many forms, but Kors allows the partner to violate the trust or the romantic or sexual undercurrents to grow as the main point of contention.
3 signs of emotional betrayal
1. You are keeping it a secret from your partner
“Healthy relationships are based on trust and transparency, and secrets betray that trust,” Kors says. For example, “Confidentiality is the definition of fraud,” she says. It does No This means you need to share everything with your partner. “But it’s a big red flag when you have any kind of relationship that needs to be hidden from your partner,” she says.
If you find yourself glaring at the depths of your mobility with someone, deleting text conversations with them, or otherwise hiding around to contact them, you may have been deceived.
2. You spend more time with this person than with your partner
There will be times in your life when you spend time with someone other than your partner. For example, maybe you and your partner are in a long distance relationship and you have a roommate. Or maybe you have a coworker who sits next to you five days a week, and you don’t sit with your partner. Generally, though, Kors asks you to consider the time you spend with someone other than your partner as a litmus test.
Ask yourself: Has the quality of time I spend with my partner diminished since I was close to this person? Am I spending more time with this person than my partner (and liking it)? Do I prefer to spend time with this person than with my partner?
If you answered yes to any of the above, you are in a blurred area. “If your friendship tends to distract you from your partner, and you end up spending time and energy on your partner, something is off,” says Kors.
3. Your abdomen (or hips) indicates that you are in an area of deception
Emotional deception can be a matter of the heart, but it is usually the other parts of your body that register deception first. “In general, emotional deception is associated with active deception, which can create feelings of guilt and shame,” says Caraballo. If you have a worried stomach when you think about the nature of your relationship with your non-partner, it means your body is saying something to you.
Kors recommends paying attention to what kind of sexual reactions you have when you are around this person. Do you get in trouble Does your cheek bleed (or elsewhere)? “The development of sexual desire towards your partner threatens the stability of your relationship,” says Kors, especially if you are in a hurry.
How to prevent your close friends from getting emotionally involved
If you’re close with a friend, and you want to make sure you’re on the same page, invite them to talk about the nature of your friendship. The course says, “Start by expressing what you value about them as friends.” Describe what they bring into your life, what you gain from your relationship, and what it means to have a clearly defined friendship that does not threaten. Your romantic partnership. “
Texting or expressing these feelings allows them to share equally, she says, which, in the long run, can help you create a mutually nurturing bond but still works within the boundaries of your romantic relationship.
What to do if you think your partner is cheating on you emotionally
There is nothing more painful than thinking that your partner has allowed another person to be the co-leader of their life. But instead of worrying about strangers or checking your partner’s phone or email for proof of infidelity, talk to them.
Avoid guilt games, Kors suggests, and try to have a detailed discussion about what it means to be intimate, what the nature of friendship is, and what it takes to feel safe in a relationship and inspire trust. A broad context creates a container in which any of your current (or future) jealousy can be dealt with with care and respect.
It’s just as important to start these discussions as it is to listen to what your partner has to say … Really Listening After all, it is possible that your partner is actually just friends with this person and, for example, is happy to have someone to share their love of fishing with.
Ultimately, “these types of conversations can be difficult, but they are made much easier when you approach them with patience, openness, and honesty,” says Caraballo. And if you can’t bring those things into this conversation, it could be a sign that the person in question isn’t the right friend for you, anyway.
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